One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Eyes peeled? What am I?A POTATO?! When a neighbor’s child child goes missing they’ll knock on your door and tell you to “Keep your eyes peeled.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? I think you mean “Keep your eyes OPEN.” There is a big difference between “open” and “peeled.” I can do open. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Keep Your Eyes Peeled”Molech can hear you just fine. Dear McFartnuggets: Why do people bother praying out loud when God can obviously read their minds? — Wanda from Walla Walla, Washington Dear Wanda: I think the easy answer to this question is that people like hearing the sound of their own voice. I would bet that any person who […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Pray Out Loud?”Falling asleep near a gloryhole can be disastrous. For some reason public toilet rooms have come to be known as “Restrooms.” I don’t know why this is, they’re really not a great place to rest. Do you know how hard it is to take a nap sitting on a public toilet? Even if you could […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Restroom”If you can, find a jug to catch thepee and then just let the farts fly. Dear McFartnuggets: I’m in a very bad situation where I have to fart and I also have to pee! I need to let a little fart out except when I do I can feel the pee wants to come […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “I Have To Fart And Pee At The Same Time! What Do I Do?!”Was “Welcome Back, Kotter”really about a serial killer? The famous television character Vincent Barbarino made the saying “Up your nose with a rubber hose” a commonplace utterance in the parlance of the mid to late 70’s. It was such a popular catchphrase that people still say it to this day. But let’s just take a […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Up Your Nose With A Rubber Hose”Dear McFartnuggets: Did you know Whoopi Goldberg co-starred in a film from 1989 called “Homer and Eddie” with Jim Belushi where she played a character named “Eddie Cervi” and then in 1996 starred in the film “Eddie” where she played the head coach of the New York Knicks? What the hell is up with that?? […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Was Whoopi Goldberg Named ‘Eddie’ In Two Separate Movies?”Woooo! We are so wastedbros! WOOOOO!!! When people are clapping, the default noise to make with your voice is “Woo!” for some reason. Whenever people need to make more noise to add to their clapping “Woo! is always the go-to exclamation. Why? “Woo!” is a nonsensical term. If anything it’s an Asian surname. If you’re […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “WOO!”Oh look, he brought marshmallowand rabbit shit kebobs! Dear McFartnuggets: My kids asked me why there’s an Easter Bunny and I didn’t know what to say. I guess I never thought about it before. What should I tell them? — Paula from Tenochtitlan Dear Paula: The concept of the Easter Bunny can be a little […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Does A Bunny Have To Do With Easter?”Looks like Joe had some bad shrimp for dinner. Some people refer to a cup of coffee as a “Cup of Joe.” Most people who do this probably have no idea what they’re even saying or why coffee is called Joe. There’s really no good reason it should be called a “Cup of Joe.” A “Cup […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Cup of Joe”They’re not elevatorsthey’re moving fartcaskets. We’ve all been there. You’re in an elevator alone after work and you really need to fart so you let one out. It’s a loud one and a big one. Then as you’re smelling it and enjoying it for yourself, you see feel the elevator stop before the ground floor […]
Read More What To Do When You Fart Alone In An Elevator And It Stops To Let People On
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 