One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Mermaids do share manycharacteristics of hippies. Dear McFartnuggets: Do mermaids smoke seaweed? — Abigail from Pittsburgh Dear Abigail: You do know what a mermaid is, don’t you? They’re aquatic half humanoid half fish creatures. You can’t smoke anything underwater. How would they even light a seaweed joint or a water bong? They would have to […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Do Mermaids Smoke Seaweed?”Not so easy to trust whenhe’s wearing a potato sack. Everyone tells you to “Trust the Gorton’s Fisherman” but what has he really done to deserve our trust? Trust has to be earned, Gorton’s Fisherman. You have to prove to be an honest person before someone can trust you. What has the Gorton’s Fisherman done? […]
Read More The Top 5 Things You Should NOT Trust The Gorton’s Fisherman WithTennis can be a very dangerous sport and this commercial shows why. Fortunately you can always prevent cavities with Crest mouthpaste.
Read More Crest Old School Tennis Commercial From Oldie DaysBastard didn’t even get a NAME. If you’ve ever seen the 1990 smash hit film “Kindergarten Cop” then I think you know where I’m going with this. In the climactic scene, the villain “Crisp” kidnaps his son and then is cornered by Detective John Kimball in a locker room. Crisp holds the gun to the […]
Read More The Most Unappreciated Movie Hero In The History Of CinemaFrench words are so cliche. Whenever something is overused to the point of being meaningless people always call it “Cliché”. That’s all people ever call it. To put it simply, “Cliché” is cliché. And I realize that by just saying that I’m being cliché which is then cliché that is also cliché and I’m stuck […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Cliché”Some people challenge themselveswith Rubik’s Cubes, but those arechild’s play compared to my challenges. When you spend enough time alive on this planet, certain everyday tasks become so routine that life grows to be very boring. Fortunately there are certain things you can do to challenge yourself and make life a little more interesting and […]
Read More Fun Ways To Challenge Yourself In Everyday LifeHow well do we really know our hand?What the hell are Distal Phalanges? When you have expert knowledge of a subject you can say you “know it like the back of your hand.” For example: “I know this Physics lesson like the back of my hand!” Usually this saying is meant to instill confidence in […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Like The Back of My Hand”No one wants to do jury duty,but don’t go too far whentrying to get dismissed. No sane person enjoys jury duty. Yes, you are participating and doing a “duty”, but it’s participating in one of the greatest ongoing debacles, the U.S. justice system. Most people try their best to get out of jury duty, however […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Ways To Get Out of Jury DutyWhen you’re on a cocaine fueled rampage setting things on fire with a flamethrower while standing on the roof of a car screaming “I’LL NEVER DIE! NEVER!” Sometimes a police officer will smugly respond “Never say never…” Before shooting the gas tank on your flamethrower and blowing you into smithereens. But, wait, you just said […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Never Say Never”Amazing how something so small can make you look like such a big jackass. Karaoke can be a lot of fun when you choose the right songs to sing. You need to pick good songs that people can groove to, but you also need to pick songs that are within your vocal range. If you’re drunk enough, none […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Karaoke Songs To Sing
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 