One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When drugs aren’t involved,hot women celebrities generally are immortal til about 40 years old. Dear McFartnuggets: How come hot women celebrities rarely ever die? I don’t want them to, I’m just saying you never really see it. Handsome man celebrities die all the time like Paul Walker, Jonathan Winters, and Roger Ebert, but when was […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t Hot Women Celebrities Ever Die?”You hit 0% of the shots youtake straight into the air. Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky once said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” It sounds nice and it’s a very inspirational quote to help motivate you to take chances rather than lay inert, but it’s entirely flawed. You don’t miss 100% of […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You Miss 100% of The Shots You Don’t Take”I think this is aleft Twix. Dear McFartnuggets: I keep seeing these commercials that show that Twix bars are made by Left Twix and Right Twix and they have totally different factories. Well if they’re competing with each other, why do they package their product together under the same name? What kind of sense does […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If Left Twix And Right Twix Are In Competition Why Are They Packaged Together?”Most courts are fairly lax when it comes to jury duty dress code. Usually they say “As long as your genitals are not showing, you’re good to go”, but it’s important to protect the integrity of the judicial system and respect the court. There are certain outfits you just shouldn’t wear to jury duty even […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Things To Wear To Jury DutyYour genitals should never tastelike the Rio Tinto. Dear McFartnuggets: I was going to the circus on my girlfriend’s private parade the other day when I discovered that it tasted like battery acid. Why does this happen? Why the heck does my girlfriend’s vagina taste like battery acid? — Wilbur from Maryland Dear Wilbur: First […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Does My Girlfriend’s Vagina Taste Like Battery Acid?"You know your turds are big whenthey can survive millions of years. When you’re trying to tell someone at the bus stop about how your cat has been constipated for a whole week sometimes people will say things like “I couldn’t give two shits”. You couldn’t give TWO shits? This is a very interesting thing […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: "I Couldn’t Give Two Shits"In this incredibly old instructional film, Coronet attempts to teach people how to be better parents by showing the struggles of one ridiculously stupid man.
Read More Infamous Coronet Instructional Film From 1948 “How To Be A Better Father”And regardless of whatwear, sleeper holds arefrowned upon. They say first impressions are important so what you wear on a first date can either make or break you. Wear the right thing and you’ll have a better chance of getting laid, but wear the wrong thing and the other person may decide to leave right […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Things To Wear On A First DateMonet’s first impression. They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. This means first impressions are really important. A lot of people might find this to be true except it stands in direct conflict with the saying “Never judge a book by its cover”. So if you believe you should […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression"I can’t kill or have sexwith Ben Franklin, yall. Dear McFartnuggets: Benjamin Franklin, A zombie, and Chester Cheetoh. You gotta marry one, fuck one, and kill one. What do you do? — Catherine from Rhode Island Dear Catherine: Wow that’s a tough one again, but it seems eerily reminiscent of the one where you gave […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: MFK: Benjamin Franklin, A Zombie, and Chester Cheetoh?
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 