One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
If anything, Girl Scout cookiesencourage severe obesity. Dear McFartnuggets: I can’t believe Girl Scouts are allowed to sell “Thin Mint” cookies. Thin Mints are the most popular Girl Scout cookie and they send a bad message to kids. Girl Scouts wear green which is a mint color then the cookies are called thin. It’s like […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Do Thin Mints Encourage Girl Scout Anorexia?"We learn a lot about Mr. Whipple in this one. A little too much.
Read More Seriously Creepy Charmin Ad (Banned From 1970’s TV)They’re supposed to put up a sign when a woman’s water breaks. Dear McFartnuggets: I was walking through Best Buy when I slipped and hit the back of my head on the tile floor. When I came to I learned that I had slipped in the amniotic fluid of a pregnant woman who had been there […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "I Slipped In A Pregnant Woman’s Broken Water, Can I Sue Her?"So when you jump bail the judge’s heart grows fonder? There’s an old saying that goes “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” If that’s true then how come when I missed a week of classes in 3rd grade I wasn’t met with more excitement by the teacher? Her heart didn’t grow fonder or even fond! Mrs. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder"Do they make leather jacketsfor fetuses? Dear McFartnuggets: I’m one month pregnant and my husband got a new motorcycle. I love riding, but I’m afraid it could put my baby at risk. Should I ride or not? — Amber from Valdosta, Georgia Dear Amber: I don’t believe there are any laws prohibiting you from riding […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Can I Ride A Motorcycle While I’m Pregnant?"Shoulda used some Banana Boat onthat shit! Too late now! With Summer around the corner again it’s important to remember the dangers of sunburns. Like drinking profusely, people usually forget the last time they had a bad sunburn so they don’t take it seriously until it happens again. I’ve made this list to remind you […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Places To Get SunburnPeople don’t like when you smell their fart and go “Mmm… Garlicky!” Dear McFartnuggets: I really enjoy the smell of other people’s farts. When someone farts around me it’s like a little treat like smelling cooking bacon. Is that normal? — Dave from Montreal Dear Dave: No, that’s not normal. However, just because it’s not […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "I Enjoy The Smell Of Other People’s Farts Is That Normal?"There’s no shame in wearing a“Maximum Absorbency Garment” Dear McFartnuggets: I recently started wearing an adult diaper to help mitigate my incontinence issues and it had been working great until last Tuesday. Last Tuesday I shot one off at my desk by accident and had to gingerly walk to the bathroom to change myself. It […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Co-worker Caught Me Changing My Adult Diaper"For some reason when a person is sick we say they’re “Under the weather”. Why is that? Is it because they’re under rain clouds getting wet and catching a cold? Yeah that sort of makes sense except for the fact that technically EVERYONE is under the weather at all times. When are you not “under […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: "Under The Weather"Adding a corpse to the mix is always a wildcard. Dear McFartnuggets: Darth Vader, a human corpse, Garfield the cat. You gotta marry one, fuck one, and kill one. What do you do? — Catherine from Rhode Island Dear Catherine: Okay let’s break this down… Darth Vader: evil Jedi master. Probably not a great person […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "MFK: Darth Vader, A Human Corpse, Garfield The Cat"
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 