One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Kermit and Miss Piggy vs. Charlie Brown and Snoopy in a Japanese death match? Dear McFartnuggets: If you had to get rid of either the Muppets or the Charlie Brown Peanuts characters who would you choose? — DeAndre from Newark, New Jersey Dear DeAndre: That’s a tough one, those are two very beloved groups of […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Muppets vs. Peanuts?"There must be a shoe sale going on! Whenever your girlfriend or wife dies in a tragic accident people usually try to console you by saying “Calm down, there are other fish in the sea.” First off why are you comparing women to fish? That’s incredibly insulting. Is it because of vaginal odor? That’s crass. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "There Are Other Fish In The Sea"If you’re gonna sing it,get the words right. “Circle of Life” from the Disney film “The Lion King” has to be the number one song people get the lyrics wrong to all the time. Most people think that the beginning part goes “NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH SIGPWAYYYYYMAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH BAAABAAAAAA HEEEEEEEE SEEEEEEEEEEE MAAAAAAAAAWWWWW MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” but it’s actually “Nants ingonyama bagithi […]
Read More The Most Commonly Misheard Song Lyric Of All-TimeIs security forgetting tonever forget? Dear McFartnuggets: Four daredevils were arrested for base jumping from the top of the Freedom Tower back on September 30th 2013 and just a week ago a 16-year-old passed security to reach the roof. What does this say about the security at One World Trade? Why isn’t the Freedom Tower […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "What’s The Problem With Freedom Tower Security?"Having a glorious day actuallysounds kind of scary. If you’ve ever heard someone say “Have a glorious day” before you know it’s very jarring. It’s definitely crossing the line between a nice farewell saying and being creepily excessive. What exactly does a “glorious” day entail? Having a good day sounds manageable. We’ve all had good […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Have A Glorious Day!"This ranks up there with some of the weirdest commercials ever produced by man. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to make coffee pee? I mean I get that coffee makes you pee, but the moaning it does was totally inappropriate and uncalled for.
Read More Incredibly Bizarre Old School Maxwell House CommercialKeep in mind being “yourself”doesn’t always pay off in socialsituations. Especially if yourselfwants shark teeth. Whenever you creep a woman out and ask a friend for advice on how to seduce them effectively they’ll generally say “Just be yourself!” Yeah, wow that’s real helpful! Be yourself? When are you NOT yourself? Anything you do is being […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Just Be Yourself”Asking the woman in the wheelchair outis NOT one of the mistakes. If you’re relatively new to drinking alcohol then you’re inevitably going to make a lot of mistakes when it comes to imbibing spirits. Rather than have you learn all these lessons the hard way, I thought I would help out by warning you […]
Read More The Top 5 Biggest Drinking Mistakes You Can MakeWho would want to spank that? “Spanking the monkey” is a relatively modern terminology for the act of male masturbation. Who sees the act of a man masturbating and calls that “Spanking the monkey”? In what universe is that even a somewhat accurate description? I mean I guess you’re not standing around to take a […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “Spank The Monkey”Look at that orgy of onions! Dear McFartnuggets: I just got a new job recently and no one there knew that I love eating onions. On my first day at lunch I walked into the break room where five other coworkers were enjoying their meals. I took my brown paper bag out of the fridge […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Rude To Eat A Raw Onion In Public?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 