One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Back in these days people didn’t fully understand the dangers of consuming human waste. At one point they actually believed it might be good for you like smoking.
Read More Absolutely Sickening Beverage Commercial From The 1960’sDear McFartnuggets: I see this old lady in the park every single day feeding birds and she hasn’t noticed me masturbating once! Haha jk… She has. This bitch throws fresh hot bagels she buys from the bakery at pigeons while there’s a guy who lives in the park under a tree dying of starvation. I’ve […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Old People Love Feeding Birds So Much?”There’s a popular motivational saying out there that goes “Never settle.” Apparently settling is one of the worst things you can do in life. Maybe that’s a new thing because can you imagine what it would be like if the Pilgrims took this advice? There’d be no America as we know it! I’m sure Native […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Never Settle”Dear McFartnuggets: For some reason when I fart it always sounds like a question and I get very embarrassed by this. I’ve actually had people say “I don’t know” to me after I accidentally fart near them. How can I fart in a more confident, affirmative tone? I’m sick of having weak and timid farts! […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Do I Get My Farts to Stop Sounding Like Questions?”Sometimes when Janice at work is talking your brain into an aneurysm she says “Oh boy the twins are a handful!” Now that might make sense if Janice was talking about her breasts, but her breasts are way more than a handful so I have to assume she’s talking about her kids. Your kids are […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “A Handful”For those who don’t know there’s a channel on YouTube that records the surprised reactions of modern day children to old concepts like land line telephones and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This concept led me to wonder, what types of videos will they do in the future? We don’t really know what the future holds […]
Read More The Top 5 Best “Kids React To…” Videos of the FutureDear McFartnuggets: My dog Belinda, a 6-month-old Jack Russell has gotten pregnant by some asshole collie who just boned her and ran off. I know 6 months is too young to raise kids, she’s basically still a puppy herself, she’s got absolutely no life experience to draw on to help these kids have proper lives. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Should I Pay For My Dog’s Abortion?"It’s nearly every man’s dream to be a superhero at one point or another. One of the main times you want to be compared to a superhero is in bed. Generally speaking when a woman likens you to the Hulk, Thor, Superman, or Wolverine that’s considered a good thing. However, there are certain superheroes you […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Super Heroes to Be Compared To In BedDear McFartnuggets: How come 999 out of 1,000 times when someone’s criticizing another person it turns out they’re usually not a talented person? Like if you’re going to criticize and complain about a job someone is doing you should be able to do a better job than them. It’s like someone without arms criticizing another […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are People Who Criticize Others Usually Talentless?”They say you should never judge a book by its cover, but they don’t mention the other things you should never judge a book by. You really shouldn’t be judging books to begin with, you either enjoy a book or you don’t, there’s no need for aspersions. If you absolutely must judge a book always […]
Read More The Top 5 Other Things You Should Never Judge A Book By
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 