One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
This commercial started the trend of coaxing women into romantic situations with bonus checks. These days we call this “escort services” but very few know it began as a door-to-door proposition.
Read More Insane Commercial For Weird Female Cereal From The 60’sDear McFartnuggets: My friend told me the other day that drinking Mountain Dew will kill my sperm is that true? If this is true why doesn’t Mountain Dew just replace condoms? It tastes a lot better than condoms, probably… — Joel from North Dakota Dear Joel: I’m pretty sure if Mountain Dew killed sperm then […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Does Mountain Dew Really Kill Sperm?”When everyone’s going home after the big March Madness viewing party/fondue dip/LSD orgy you hosted sometimes people will say “Thank you for having me!” I had them? At when? Hello? No, this is just a weird thing to say to anyone who isn’t your parents. Your parents had you and you should be thanking them […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Thank You For Having Me”Dear McFartnuggets: I always hear about how NCAA college athletes need to be paid because so much money is being made off of them. I also hear that universities are under investigation for giving their athletes free cars, apartments, cash, gifts, plus giving them fake easy courses to pass so they can stay in school. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Do NCAA Athletes Really Need To Be Paid?”Sometimes you read one of your ex-wife’s Facebook posts about her new boyfriend and how they have an “undying love.” There’s really no way to tell if your love is capable of dying or not. Usually it is. Ultimately, when you die your love dies with you. You can’t really keep loving when you’re a […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Undying Love”Dear McFartnuggets: I came out of the closet as a racist person a few months ago and ever since then my family has been very not accepting of it. Now I regret embracing who I really am and I try to keep my racism a secret with people again. I don’t know how to feel […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do So Many People Hate Racist People?”Dear McFartnuggets: What is the story of why we dye chicken eggs for Easter? How does that work? What is that bunny about? How does any of this connect to the story of Jesus? And why is it called Easter? Why not Wester? Was Jesus more of a fan of Notorious BIG than Tupac? West […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do We Dye Eggs For Easter?”Dear McFartnuggets: At the NCAA press conference after Kentucky lost to Wisconsin, Andrew Harrison called Frank Kaminsky an n-word and had to apologize later for it. The thing is, Andrew Harrison is African American and Frank Kaminsky is Caucasian. Isn’t it weird for a Black person to have to apologize for calling a White person an […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should a Black Person Have to Apologize For Calling a White Person The N-Word?”When you’re a kid and you’re trying to explain to your parents in a delicate way that you lost your younger brother in a woods at night and you think he may have fallen into a pit of some sort they say “Out with it, boy! Stop beating around the bush!” At the time you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Beat Around The Bush”Dear McFartnuggets: My girlfriend is always like “Please don’t bring up how old I am” then if I forget to get her a present on her birthday she gets all pissed off. Okay so which is it? Should I be very aware of your age and celebrate an extra year added onto it which makes […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come Women Never Want To Be Reminded of Their Age, Then Get Mad When You Forget Their Birthday?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 