Dumbass Sayings: “Nothing Good Ever Happens After 2 A.M.”

When you come home after a night at the emergency room where you were treated for an arm gash you got in a broken beer bottle fight with a bath salts zombie at 3:30 AM, your mother always says “Nothing good ever happens after 2 AM!” This is one of those sayings that doesn’t really […]

Ask McFartnuggets: "Is it Wrong For a Human to Bark at a Dog?"

Dear McFartnuggets: Sometimes when I’m out for a walk alone I’ll pass a person who’s walking their dog and the dog barks at me so I bark back at it. Whenever I do this the owner of the dog usually gets mad at me and I don’t understand this. The dog was barking at me […]

Disturbingly Racist Old Ice Cream Commercial

Here’s a commercial that depicted some seriously screwed up stereotypes about Native Americans. Not all Native Americans dress like that, they don’t do that hand over mouth noise thing, and they’re not all lactose intolerant either.

Dumbass Song Lyrics: “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman”

In the 1967 single “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman”, Aretha Franklin says the classic line “You make me feel like a natural woman.” What an odd thing to say that we all just accept like it’s a normal concept. When don’t you feel like a natural woman? Before we get to that, […]

Ask McFartnuggets: "How Do I Breastfeed Vigintuplets?"

Dear McFartnuggets: I’m seven months prego with vigintuplets that’s twenty babies in one load. I’ve been gradually hyping myself up for the challenge and I think I’m ready to raise twenty children simultaneously. The one thing I’m not 100% comfy with is the idea of breastfeeding them. The last time I checked I only had […]

The Top 5 Worst Things To Do When You’re Drunk At Home

It’s a popular human pastime to get drunk out in public at bars and clubs, but sometimes getting drunk at home is just as much fun if not more. The great thing about getting drunk at home is there are typically no cops at your home so the number of things you can legally do […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Spic and Span”

Sometimes when you have company over to your place they say “Wow this place is so Spic and span!” Are you serious? Who says something like that? That is completely unacceptable and inappropriate. First of all how did you know my housekeeper is Hispanic? Secondly, I would appreciate you did not use racial slurs in […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay to Run Someone Over in a Dodge?”

Dear McFartnuggets: I drive a 2013 Dodge Durango and I’m currently being charged for vehicular manslaughter, but the way I sees it, I should be able to run people over if they don’t get out of my way! My car says “Dodge” on the front. It’s not like they aren’t being given a warning. Come […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “If You Choke to Death While Drinking Water is That Considered Drowning?”

Dear McFartnuggets: The other day I was drinking some water and I started choking on it. It went down the wrong pipe and I was literally choking for a few minutes. I was very scared and it felt like I was going to die. If I had died would that have been considered a drowning […]

Dumbass Sayings: “I Remember You When You Were This Big”

Sometimes when you go to visit old relatives you haven’t seen in decades they always say “I remember you when you were this big!” and they hold their hand up around two feet above the ground. Why do people say this? Why does everyone say this? What is the purpose of saying this to someone? […]

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