One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: Yo why is it sometimes I’ll be just chilling on the sofa smoking some reefer when I see a caterpillar on the wall and it’s sitting there? I’ll be staring at that sucka waiting for it to do something for what seems like twelve eternities and this bastard won’t move a single millimeter. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Are Bugs Doing When They’re Just Sitting on a Wall?”When you ask a lady at work if she wants to go out to dinner with you she says “No thanks, I hate you… Well, hate is a strong word. I severely dislike you.” What the hell do you mean hate is a strong word? Listen up sucka, words don’t have power, it’s the meanings […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Hate is a Strong Word”Dear McFartnuggets: How come there are essentially no Black women in the UFC? I feel like your average sister could take down Ronda Rousey in like five second. Are African American women not allowed in the UFC? If you look at the top male fighters a lot of them are Black like Jon Jones and […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Aren’t There More Black Women in UFC?”Sometimes the creepy guy at your job brings in cookies for everyone. Everyone is reluctant to try one. You decide to eat one because you’re hardcore and take risks. A few minutes after you eat it you vomit and he says “Well that wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement…” Hold on a moment, what the hell […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Ringing Endorsement”Dear McFartnuggets: People are always talking about having a long, drawn out, prosperous life and yet we’ve all heard the saying “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Well which is it? Because as we all know, time doesn’t stop, so if you lived a long life then by definition, time did not fly, therefore your […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If Time Flies When You’re Having Fun Why Would Anyone Want a Long Life?”Sometimes you’ll ask your cousin about how he’s holding up to the charges brought against him by his ex-wife in civil court and he says “Don’t worry, dude. It’s nothing but a big gluten free nothingburger slathered in lamesauce.” A nothingburger? Why are we adding prefixes to the word burger in non burger related context? […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Nothingburger”Dear McFartnuggets: My uncle is struggling with ketamine addiction and it got me pondering how’s it you never ever hear about people being addicted to good things? I never hear someone going on about how their uncle is addicted to volunteering at a soup kitchen or addicted to helping Make-a-Wish children. Why can’t people ever […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come People Never Get Addicted To Good Things?”Sometimes you run into an old friend from high school and he says “Yeah man things are going good. My sister works at a strip club and she’s making some serious bank! Plus now I get a 20% discount on the cover charge!” Such a silly saying this “making bank” is. I guess we’re all […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Making Bank”Dear McFartnuggets: I am a redhead and everyone at school tells me I have no soul. Is this true? If so why didn’t God give any redheaded people a soul? What is the reason for this decision? — Michelle from Portland, Oregon Dear Michelle: You probably don’t have a soul… But that’s okay. There’s a […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t Redheads Have Souls?”Sometimes at work Jeff will walk in and say “We’re trying to get the report finished for the meeting, but Jeanine and Donna are getting into another one of their pissing contests!” What is this supposed to mean? What does a pissing contest actually entail? Is it a contest of who can piss the most […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Pissing Contest”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 