One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
It seems like every time there’s a snowstorm coming you hear the weatherman say “Make sure you wear plenty of protection tomorrow because once you step outside you’re going to be blasted in the face with the white stuff! We’re about to get pounded hard by three to six inches of the hard wet white […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Getting a Pounding From 3 to 6 Inches of the Hard Wet White Stuff”Dear McFartnuggets: I was in the shoe store the other day and I saw a guy buying shoes and he said “Yo my man, give me two pair of this.” I asked him why he was getting two of the same shoes and he said “Because I wear one and I keep the other as […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Collect Shoes?”When you’re going out drinking it’s critically important to remember a few key things. The difficulty is that the more you drink, the more need to remember and the more you drink the harder it is to remember things. You’re going to forget a lot of things, but here are the top 5 things to […]
Read More The Top 5 Things To Remember When Going Out DrinkingDear McFartnuggets: Why is it funny when old people fall down the stairs, but it’s not as much hilariousness when a normal aged person falls down the stairs? What is the science behind this phenomenon? — Louise from Galveston, Texas Dear Louise: Actually, it’s funny when ANYONE falls down stairs. Keep in mind I’m only […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is it Funny When Old People Fall Down The Stairs?”In the song “My Way” written by Paul Anka and popularized by Frank Sinatra there’s a line that goes “Regrets, I’ve had a few but then again too few to mention.” First of all, you just did mention it so there must be something more to this. The main problem with this line is that […]
Read More Dumbass Song Lyrics: “Regrets, I’ve Had a Few But Then Again Too Few to Mention”Dear McFartnuggets: How come February is Black History Month? Is it because February is the shortest month? Shouldn’t it be better for February to be Midget History Month? How come March isn’t Black History Month? They could call it Civil Rights March! Get it? — Chester from Sioux Falls, South Dakota Dear Chester: First off, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is February Black History Month?”Everyone has voices in their heads that tell them to do things, some people’s voices are just louder and scarier than others. When the voices become very loud and persuasive most people choose to try to ignore them with drugs and alcohol which can lead to some very destructive events in their personal lives. Fortunately […]
Read More The Top 5 Ways To Silence The Voices in Your HeadDear McFartnuggets: So I thought I would do a random act of niceness the other day and I bought a homeless man a pizza on my way to work. When I was walking home I went to ask him how he liked it and I saw the pizza box in the garbage with the crusts […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “I Gave a Homeless Guy a Pizza and He Didn’t Eat The Crust! Should I Be Mad?”Having a severe viral respiratory illness is obviously never fun, however there are positives to everything. It’s important to always see the bright side of any situation no matter how negative they seem. Whether you’ve got the Flu or Ebola, there are some benefits to being incredibly sick and here are the top 5: 5. […]
Read More The Top 5 Benefits to Having The FluWhen people talk about how close you and your stepsister were growing up they say “You were thick as thieves.” This doesn’t really make sense. Thieves aren’t very thick at all. When was the last time you saw an obese thief? It’s really in a criminal’s best interest to be as healthy and in shape […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Thick As Thieves”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 