One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: Why are so many girls given boy names, but not the other way around? It’s not too uncommon to meet a woman named “Ryan” or “Taylor” but you never meet a man named “Christine” or “Shirley.” What is the issue here? — Patrice from Cape Cod, Massachusetts Dear Patrice: I believe it’s a […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are So Many Girls Given Boy Names But Not The Other Way Around?When you meet your grandpa’s new girlfriend who’s in her 30’s, she says “Age doesn’t matter when it comes to love!” Whenever someone says this to me I go “Oh really? Age doesn’t matter? I guess you don’t think there should be any age of consent laws!” Once I say that they immediately backtrack and […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Age Doesn’t Matter When it Comes to Love”Even in the year 2015 where there’s no more real gender identity anymore, there are still certain phrases and words that men try not to say to avoid seeming feminine. They’re only words, yet it just feels weird for a tough guy to say certain things. Here are the top 5 words that men try […]
Read More The Top 5 Words That Men Try To Avoid Saying At All CostsSometimes when a loan shark is talking to your cousin asking for his money back, your cousin tells the loan shark that he gave a couple hundred to you a week ago, the shark then says “Okay, I think I’ll pay him a visit…” Then you’ve got some loan shark pounding on your door to […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Paying a Visit"Here’s two completely ridiculous commercials from the 1970’s that featured random folks mixed in with a few celebrities tasting Grape Nuts and expressing seemingly random thoughts. Can you spot all the celebrity cameos?
Read More A Sack of Two Weird Nuts Commercials From The 70’sDear McFartnuggets: Ever since I saw that white and gold dress that everyone said was black and blue I’ve started to wonder what if Chris Brown was innocent this whole time and Rihanna was just wearing white and gold makeup on her face that everyone misinterpreted as black and blue? — Iris from Fort Worth, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Possible Chris Brown Made Rihanna’s Face White and Gold and Everyone Overreacted?”When you’re preparing for a big job interview, one of the most nervewracking decisions can be what to wear. You want to dress for the job, but you don’t want to overdress and seem like an asshole. At the same time you don’t want to be too casual and make it seem like you’re disrespecting […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Things to Wear to a Job InterviewDear McFartnuggets: I’m always hearing people say shit like “60 is the new 50” and “50 is the new 40” and “40 is the new 30” and “30 is the new 20” so this means people are ten years younger than they actually are. If that’s true then shouldn’t the legal age of sexual consent […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If 60 Is The New 50, Shouldn’t The New Age of Consent Be 28?”Sometimes when you ask a supermodel woman on a date she says “Of course I’ll go out with you! I’m so glad you asked! I’m walking on air! … Get lost, fuckface.” Okay first off, what the hell does walking on air even mean? Technically there’s empty space of molecules between any two objects even […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "I’m Walking on Air"State Farm insurance is always saying “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.” That sounds nice, but it really doesn’t mean anything. Why compare your company to a neighbor in 2015? Maybe this would have worked as a slogan in the 1950’s when people talked to those who lived in their immediate area and […]
Read More Dumbass Slogans: "Like A Good Neighbor State Farm is There"
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 