One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve seen this thing in stores called “decaffeinated coffee.” This is coffee without caffeine. Who the hell drinks this stuff? Why is it even made? What’s next? Stale grape juice with no alcohol in it? THC-less marijuana? Heroinless heroin? Cocaine that just makes your nose burn? Mushrooms that taste like cow shit and […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is The Point of Decaffeinated Coffee?Dear McFartnuggets: Why is there a Latin Grammys but no Latin Oscars? How about Latin Tony Awards and Latin Razzies? Why are Grammys the only award show that gets its own Latin version? — Yvonne from Freeport, Maine Dear Yvonne: Actually there are Latin Oscars. There are probably a several hundred thousand Latin Oscars […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are There Latin Grammys But No Latin Oscars?”Sometimes a man on the bus will turn to you randomly out of the blue and say “Your stomach thinks all potato is mashed…” Then he gets off the bus thinking he just broke your mind. There are a few things wrong with this idea. Obviously your stomach can’t think. If it could then it […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Your Stomach Thinks All Potato Is Mashed”I’m getting a little tired of weather forecasters on the news saying things like “It’s 5 degrees out there, but with wind chill it FEELS LIKE -30!” Not if you’re on Ecstasy! Not if you’re an Inuit fresh from Alaska wearing freshly cut whale blubber… What a temperature “feels like” is completely dependent on what […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Feels Like”One of the most popular job interview questions is “Why are you interested in this position.” It’s a popular question to ask because it can really throw people for a loop. The trick is to not be caught off guard by this question. To help avoid that, please review the following top 5 worst answers […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Answers To The Job Interview Question “Why Are You Interested in This Position?”Does anyone actually stop to think about what this means? Why is the pressing matter of conversation in an elevated position? What is this even trying to say? Is it a shortened version of “What is up on the imaginary board of things you want to talk about?” That’s what it seems like it means […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “What’s Up?”Dear McFartnuggets: What the hell is up with nut butters? It seems like people make butter out of every single type of nut there is! Is there any kind of nut they WON’T make butter out of? Can they cool it with the nut butter? Personally I feel a little awkward asking the guy at […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is There Any Kind of Nut They WON’T Make Butter Out Of?Sometimes you’re standing in line at a 7-11 witnessing a dispute between the cashier and someone who appears to be high on bath salts and someone else in line turns to you and says “This country is going to hell in a handbasket.” How’s that? I understand that’s a bad thing because we’re going to […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “To Hell in a Handbasket”Dear McFartnuggets: How come it’s considered sexy when a woman eats a banana, but when I eat a roast beef sandwich no one pays attention? This is sexism! I want to be sexy too sometimes, damnit! How come when I make eye contact with a woman at work while eating my roast beef and I […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come It’s Sexy For A Woman To Eat A Banana, But Not For A Man To Eat a Roast Beef Sandwich?”One commonly used phrase in today’s parlance is “tip of the iceberg.” When someone says “I have a lot of emotional issues and my mother is just the tip of the iceberg” it means the example they gave of their relationship with their mother is only a tiny piece of a much larger thing because […]
Read More Soon To Be Dumbass Sayings: “Tip of the Iceberg”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 