One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When you’ve lost custody of your kids to that overweight witch of an ex-wife and you’ve subsequently gotten back into huffing paint people around you say “Hey, keep your chin up!” That person is the lady at the DMV who’s trying to take a picture for your new license. But sometimes friends and colleagues will […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Keep Your Chin Up”Dear McFartnuggets: I found my first grey hair a few months ago and since then more and more have been showing up. I want to dye my hair, but I want a nice convenient method. I was taking a look at some of the “Just for Men” products at the CVS lately. The only problem […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Happens If A Woman Uses Just For Men?”Sometimes when you’re at a Grammy viewing party and everyone is watching Kanye West ranting, you say “Even if Kim Kardashian got her buttcheeks removed she’d still have the biggest ass in the world!” Then someone who is a Kanye fan will say “That’s so funny I forgot to laugh.” I don’t like when people […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “So Funny I Forgot To Laugh”Dear McFartnuggets: My grandpa is 87-years-old and can barely remember his own name, yet he’s still legally allowed to have a driver’s licence and he’s out there on the highway! Sometimes he goes outside without pants on and we have to remind him even when it’s like 20 degrees out! I hope that’s very comforting […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Elderly People Allowed to Drive?”Lent time is upon us once again and if you’re like so many of us then you’ve waited to the last minute to decide what to give up from February 18th til April 2nd. Fortunately I’ve got you covered with five fun and original things to give up for Lent that none of your friends […]
Read More 5 Fun And Original Things To Give Up For LentSometimes you grow apart from your twin sister and through a series of misfortunes you wind up estranged. When you’re brought up in a conversation by another family member, she says “I don’t want to be mentioned in the same breath as him!” What’s this business of not being mentioned in the same breath as […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Mentioned in the Same Breath”Dear McFartnuggets: If you could write a letter to yourself 20 years ago, what would you say to yourself? — Maggie from Redmond, Washington Dear Maggie: Wait, what? If I could write a letter to myself 20 years ago? I’m not sure what I’d say. Probably some dumb stuff because I was really stupid 20 […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If You Could Write a Letter to Yourself 20 Years Ago, What Would You Say?”This was essentially the first commercial twist ending ever put on TV and it worked well with consumers. These days the idea of hiding the item you’re advertising until the end has been played out, but it’s fun to see where it all began. Can you guess what the commercial is about before the very […]
Read More Can You Guess What This Commercial is About?Dear McFartnuggets: I was wondering why exactly does the human body make farts? What are the benefits to this? Why did we evolve to be such farty animals? — Bindi from Lisbon, Portugal Dear Bindi: It should be pretty obvious why people fart. Gas builds up in the intestines as the food we eat is […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Do We Fart?"Home invasion is one of the greatest fears for most Americans these days. This fear has caused many people to purchase guns for home security. Fortunately, there are other much cheaper, safer, and convenient self defense items that can probably already be found around your home right now. Here are the top 5 household self […]
Read More The Top 5 Household Self Defense Items
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 