One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When people eat a really good piece of pizza or cake they say “It’s like a slice of Heaven!” How can you slice Heaven? Scientists aren’t even convinced Heaven exists and you’re already cutting it up and eating it? You’re digesting Heaven? Think about that. Why would you digest and then eventually defecate a slice […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “A Slice of Heaven”Dear McFartnuggets: How come people are so strongly against inbreeding when it comes to humans yet when it comes to dogs it’s encouraged? We view dogs almost as equals to us and want to treat them as good as possible yet we make them breed in the same bloodline to get the most inbred features […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Come Inbreeding is Okay For Dogs But Not Humans?"Sometimes when you’re talking to your grandmother after your grandpa dies she says “Funny thing is… I never really loved him.” Have you ever noticed that ten times out of ten whenever someone says “Funny thing about that is…” whatever they say after that introduction is never funny? People always say things like “Funny thing […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Funny Thing Is…”Dear McFartnuggets: My girlfriend is always complaining about how she’s gaining weight and always asking me if she looks fat then on Valentine’s Day she gets mad if I don’t get her a giant box of chocolates. What the hell is that? That’s like if I complained all year about how we aren’t having sex […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Women Want Chocolate for Valentine’s Day?”When your family discovers the heroin addiction you’ve been hiding for the past five years someone in the room usually says “Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” What a ridiculous and outlandish thing to say. Being a monkey’s uncle is nothing to brag about. This either means that your brother impregnated a monkey and is […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Well I’ll Be A Monkey’s Uncle”Dear McFartnuggets: When I take my dog out for a walk I always make sure to wipe his butthole with a little bitta toilet paper after he pinches off a dookie. I would think this is common sense I mean people wipe their butts. I don’t want my dog running around getting asshole crust on […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Is It Weird to Wipe My Dog’s Ass?"Sometimes when you’re in a job interview the jackass behind the desk will say “What would you say your greatest weakness is?” It’s difficult not to laugh right in their face when they ask this because it shows what a moron they are. There’s no such thing as a “great” weakness. What they mean to […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Greatest Weakness”Dear McFartnuggets: I took a wee wee the other day and I was dismayed to smell the scent of poop emanating from the peepee. At first I thought I was smelling old poop from my roommate, but then I remembered he hadn’t been home all day. It couldn’t have been old poop odors. The smell […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "My Pee Smells Like Poop?"Dear McFartnuggets: I keep seeing people with these winter hats that have that cloth ball attached to the top. What the hell is that? What’s the point of that exactly? It looks so stupid. People are all walking around like it’s normal. People just walking around like they don’t got a ball on their hat […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "What is the Purpose of That Ball on People’s Winter Hats?"Who really has a best foot? Why would you put it out? If it’s your best foot you should want to protect it. Putting it forward exposes it to danger. A car could run over it or someone could trip on it. And why would you ever put a foot forward ever? To kick someone? […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Put Your Best Foot Forward”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 