Scary Ass Old Cereal Lion Commercial From The 50’s

Here’s a horrific old cereal commercial featuring the infamous Tony the Tiger ripoff Cereal Lion. Yes he was a lion and lions are scary, but his behaviors were completely unbefitting of a breakfast mascot.

Ask McFartnuggets: “I Can Light My Queefs on Fire, Is That Normal?”

Dear McFartnuggets: One of my favorite things to do at parties is light my queefs on fire. It’s a really funny trick that everyone seems to enjoy. The other night someone mentioned to me that it was a little weird that I could do that. I guess they were the only one sober at the […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Time of My Life”

Sometimes after a night out on the town with a beautiful woman she will say “I had the time of my life!” Really? You had the “time of your life?” Let me tell you something, every second is the time of your life. All “time of your life” literally means is the time in your […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are We Allowed To Upvote Our Own Comments on YouTube?”

Dear McFartnuggets: How come whenever I write a comment on a funny cat video it actually lets me click the thumb up on my own comment and shows a +1? Why the hell should people be able to or have to like their own comment? I just said it, of course I like it! If […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Time is Money”

There is a popular phrase that governs the world we live in right now and it’s “Time is money.” This is the reason so many people like psychiatrists, lawyers, and prostitutes get paid by the hour. This is something the owner of the local clock store says to his employees constantly. Unfortunately, no one took […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Should Tipping at Restaurants Be Banned?”

Dear McFartnuggets: My least favorite part about dining out is the end when my friends and I have to calculate the tip. There’s always someone who doesn’t want to throw in some money because they’re cheap and we end up having a huge argument. Wouldn’t it just be easier to demand that restaurants pay their servers […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “I Got a Cut on My Butthole and It Won’t Heal!”

Dear McFartnuggets: Without getting into too much graphic detail, I was experimenting with an origami dildo I made and wound up with a wound on my butthole. It’s not a huge gash, but it’s not healing. Whenever it has some time to heal I end up having to take a poop and then I wipe […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Suit Yourself”

When about a dozen guys at a party invite you to come “run a train on a bitch” with them and you politely decline they say “Okay, suit yourself!” Suit myself? Who else is going to suit me? Someone else? Why would you want someone else to suit you? If you’re a grown man that’s […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Treat All Women with Respect”

In the war against domestic violence people are coming up with slogans like “Treat all women with respect.” I don’t agree with this exactly. Respect shouldn’t be seen as a “treat,” it should be seen as an initial obligation when meeting someone. It’s a basic concept. How about just “Respect all women”? When you use […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Get My Son to Stop Watching Online Porn?”

Dear McFartnuggets: I’m a mother of a 19-year-old boy named Kolin and last week I walked in on him watching online pornography. I was shocked and it was a very uncomfortable situation. We had a talk and he confided in me that it wasn’t the first time he had viewed this “porn.” My question is […]

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