One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
It’s not surprising this beverage was discontinued. After all they basically filmed a prostitution exchange in the damn ad. And in case you were wondering, no it wasn’t old enough to where seventeen cents was a lot of money.
Read More Weird Ass Old “Awake” Beverage CommercialWhen you make a wry remark about your great aunt’s thong at Easter and tell her she’s too old to be dressing like that she says “HEY! Age is just a number!” No… “Age” is a WORD. It’s silly that people say this because it only serves to make them appear even more senile than […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Age is Just a Number”Dear McFartnuggets: Help me Binkie! I think my grandpa is becoming transgendered. He’s starting to look like Bruce Jenner and it’s really scary. I don’t know why this is happening but the past few years he’s started wearing his hair in a ponytail and acting all fruity. He used to be a very tough looking […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is My Grandfather Slowly Becoming a Woman?”Dear McFartnuggets: When I go to the store before a big storm to get supplies and food in case I’m snowed in or the power goes out I always see that the dairy section where the store keeps eggs and milk is always ransacked. Everyone is running around crazy saying “Where’s the milk? Do you […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Always Buy Milk and Eggs Before a Big Storm?”There’s a popular saying that people use after they’ve been taken advantage of or hurt and that’s “Living well is the best revenge.” The idea is that it’s better to just focus on improving your own life than deal directly with your enemies. It’s a nice sentiment, but it’s ultimately false. If living well was […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Living Well is the Best Revenge”Dear McFartnuggets: How come people are always calling Clark Kent Superman? They also call him Man of Steel. He’s not a man, yo! He comes from the planet Krypton you idiots! The last time I checked that meant you were not part of the human race aka a MAN or woman. He’s a damn alien […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Why is Superman Called a Man When He’s An Alien?"Dear McFartnuggets: Lemme get this straight, Willy Wonka invented the Everlasting Gobstopper to put his rival Slugworth out of business. Now the Everlasting Gobstopper was a candy that you could suck and suck and suck and suck and it would never get any smaller and it was made for poor kids. This seems like a […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Was The Everlasting Gobstopper Supposed to Put Slugworth Out of Business?”One of the most frequently used sayings in the English language is “Never judge a book by it’s cover” or “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” This compares people to bound sheets of literature. The idea of this saying is that you shouldn’t make assumptions on the character of a person based on their […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Never Judge A Book By Its Cover”Dear McFartnuggets: We just got a new employee at my job and he’s from Guatemala or some shit. Anywho, I introduced myself to him pretty early on and said “Hola, my name is Glen” and despite that he’s been calling me by the wrong name constantly. I tried to correct him once and he still […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "My Spanish Coworker Keeps Calling Me By The Wrong Name!"The TV/comic book character David/Bruce Banner who turns into The Incredible Hulk has the famous catchphrase “Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” This saying became popular based mostly on what happens after he says it because then he turns into a giant green monster and smashes things. If that part […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 