One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: Long story short I hit someone with my car and I know that’s wrong and a bad thing to do, but I don’t think what I did qualifies as a “hit and run” because I just drove away. I didn’t run. I know sometimes people hit someone with their car so hard that […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Still Considered a Hit and Run if I Drove Away?”Dear Mcfartnuggets: I need to get all the hair off my privates including my bootyhole hair, but I don’t feel comfortable having a stranger apply a wax strip to my unmentionables. Is it okay for me to buy a bottle of Nair and just slap some of that onto my B-hole? — Raylonda from Ewing, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Use Nair to Give Myself a Home Brazilian Wax?”Dear McFartnuggets: The New England Patriots playing with deflated footballs has become the biggest news story in America! I’m surprised we aren’t seeing people wearing shirts that say “Je Suis Deflated Balls.” How can this be the most enraging thing in the world to people in today’s world? I’m glad it is though because my […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are People So Mad About The Patriots Deflating Balls?”“Hey this would make a good movie!”“No. No, it wouldn’t…” With “Quija” coming to theaters soon, it’s just the newest board game being brought to life on the silver screen. We’ve already seen “Clue” and “Battleship” and movies about “Hungry Hungry Hippos” and “Monopoly” are currently in the works, which begs the question “When will […]
Read More The Top 10 Worst Potential Board Game MoviesDear Mcfartnuggets: People are always telling me to “Watch out for Black Ice” when I’m driving. Is Black Ice really that much more dangerous than regular ice or are these people racist? Are people afraid of Black Ice just because of its color? That seems ignorant to me. I think we should treat all ice […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is Black Ice Really More Dangerous Than Regular Ice?”Sometimes when you flirt with one of your grandma’s friends down at the retirement home the old lady will say “Oh be still my beating heart!” I never understood this saying. Of course we all know it’s Shakespeare, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that it makes no damn sense. Why would you want your […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Be Still My Beating Heart"Dear McFartnuggets: What is the better time of day to take your daily poops? Is it better to get it over with in the mornings or save it up for the nighttime? I try to get it over with in the mornings though sometimes it causes me to be late to work. What is your […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Better to Poop in the Morning or Night?”Sometimes when your deranged ex-wife breaks into your house and aims a shotgun at your chest, right before you kick it off to the side and it discharges into the wall she screams “I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL!” This is such a silly thing to say to someone. First of all you’re admitting that you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I’ll See You in Hell!”Dear McFartnuggets: Yo, Binkie. What up? I got a question for you. My little niece just got an iPhone and keeps sending me text messages and I don’t know how to get her to stop. I don’t want to be like “Hey, stop texting my phone you annoying little devil!” I need a nice easy […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What’s The Best Way to Avoid Someone’s Texts?”When your Aunt Harriet is jogging through the park wearing skintight leggings despite the fact she’s 250 lbs and only 5 foot 1 people sometimes say discouraging things to her. She typically responds by screaming “I jiggle therefore I am!” This is a saying that is growing in popularity primarily among overweight women. Of course […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Jiggle Therefore I Am”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 