One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: The other day I was in Kohl’s buying a new blender when I saw this fat lady just pee herself all over the floor then she ran out with her husband and they sped away in their minivan. She just left and the Kohl’s employees had to mop up the pee. Shouldn’t she […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Still Public Urination if You Pee in Your Pants?”https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/tRHUmV1KGuk&source=uds Here was one of the most important commercials in the second-wave feminist movement of the 1970’s. This ad gave women the confidence to flaunt themselves and get as many advantages as they could and illustrated the opposing viewpoint as a jealous old bitch.
Read More Nutrageous Classic Banned Soap Commercial From The 70’sDear McFartnuggets: OMG The POTUS’ SOTU made me ROTFL so hard! I was LMFAO @ that shit it totes made me SMH. THE SOTU is a BFD & the POTUS was an epic fail IMHO! The POTUS needs to sit down with the VPOTUS, the SOTUSHOR John Boehner, the GOP SML, the DML, and the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “The POTUS’ SOTU Made Me ROTFL!”When your mother talks about how she gave birth to you sometimes she says “You came screaming out of there like a bat outta hell!” This is supposedly a phrase originated by the singer Meatloaf and that’s fine, but people still continue to use this term like it’s a normal thing to say. Let’s take […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Bat Outta Hell”Dear McFartnuggets: There’s a clown who is a street performer in my town and he’s very worrisome. One particularly alarming feature he has is a teardrop painted on his face. I’ve been told this means he’s killed someone in prison. Is that true? — Marion from Miami, Florida Dear Marion: It’s possible that’s what it […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Does The Teardrop on a Clown’s Face Mean?”Dear McFartnuggets: I just got a kitten named Madam Fluffyboops and she’s only a month old and already having nightmares. When she sleeps she writhes around, twitches, and kicks her little furry feet. What is going on here? What has it lived through to cause these fears? What could a little baby kitten possibly be […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is My Kitten Having Nightmares About?”Whenever a family is murdered in their home or die in a car crash they always interview a neighbor on the news. Inevitably, the neighbor will say “They were just so full of life.” Why do people say this? Yeah they were full of life, as opposed to now because they’re lifeless corpses, right? Of […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "So Full of Life"Dear McFartnuggets: I have a little problem to admit. I’m a loud farter. I know everyone farts loud to a certain degree, but people have made it a point to tell me my farts reach decibel levels that are unacceptable. I know I can’t just stop farting, heck I wouldn’t want to! Farting is natural, I […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Do I Fart Quieter?”When you have one too many martinis and accidentally drive your grandma’s car into a ravine then wake up in a hospital bed sometimes you’re awakened by your grandma grabbing you by the neck screaming “You totaled my car! You totaled my car!” I never liked this term “totaled.” The problem I have is what […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Totaled”Dear McFartnuggets: The new Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell movie is called “Get Hard.” Is this supposed to be subliminal advertising for Viagra or something? Did Cialis pay them to name it that? Is there any boner pill product placement in this movie?– Norman from San Diego, California Dear Norman: No, “Get Hard” is about […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is That New Kevin Hart Movie “Get Hard” About Viagra?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 