One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When a hobo approaches you at a bus stop he sometimes offers you a hit of his crack pipe and after you politely decline he says “I don’t take no for an answer.” I can’t believe people still say this. If you don’t take no for an answer then basically what you’re saying is you’re […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Don’t Take No For An Answer”Dear McFartnuggets: After the Paris terrorist shootings I see a lot of people saying “Je Suis Charlie” to show support for the Charlie Hebdo newspaper, but almost no one is saying “Je Suis a Kosher Deli” to show support and solidarity for the four people who were killed in the kosher supermarket. Why won’t people […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Say ‘Je Suis Charlie’ But Not ‘Je Suis a Kosher Deli”?https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/VcX63wstum8&source=uds This commercial from 1959 featured Cereal Lion, an obvious knock-off of Tony the Tiger who debuted in 1951. They even gave him an entire TV show just to sell more cereal. Fortunately this ad campaign was derailed by the FCC, but not after the emotional damage was done on consumers both young and old.
Read More Highly Disturbing Oat Cereal Commercial From 1959Dear McFartnuggets: Why how come people are ticklish on their bodies? What service does that provide to people? I don’t understand why this is! All the time my brother tickles me and I just pee, sometimes I poop. Why are bodies made like this? Why has evolution make us ticklish? — Sierra from Cincinnati, Ohio […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are People Ticklish?”When you invite your ex-wife to your grandmother’s funeral and she brings her new husband the two of them make out and say “Oh baby, oh baby, I love you baby.” Why do people say this? This is one of the most popular things for people to call their significant other and I just don’t […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Baby”Sometimes when you’re at Bingo night at the local recreation center and you get into a kerfuffle with a 70-year-old woman named Gladice, she will lunge at you then stop and say “Eh, you’re not worth it…” I’m not worth it? Worth what? Getting your ass kicked? Let’s think about this phrase for a second. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You’re Not Worth It”Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve noticed that the Oscar statue from the Academy Awards has no balls or any sort of genitalia. The Golden Globes are almost as important as the Oscars, but not quite as important. Is it possible that the Golden Globes are actually an allusion to the testicles of Oscar the Academy Awards statue? […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Are The Golden Globes Oscar’s Testicles?”Sometimes when you’re on a date with a beautiful woman she’ll be so nervous she doesn’t know what to say and starts asking you weird questions. One of the questions people usually ask you on a date is “If you could be an animal, what animal would you be?” Well, this tells you pretty much […]
Read More Dumbass Questions: “If You Could Be An Animal, What Animal Would You Be?’Dear McFartnuggets: I heard on the news that a French cartoonist Charlie Hedbo was killed by terrorists. Who was Charlie Hedbo and why haven’t we heard of his work more before his tragic death? Rest in peace Charlie Hedbo! We are Charlie! — Nikki from Cleveland, Ohio Dear Nikki: I think you may have gotten some […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Who Was Charlie Hedbo?”There’s a very classic old saying that goes “A watched pot never boils.” This is one of those sayings that’s completely wrong, yet people still continue to use it. Of course everyone knows a watched pot will boil eventually, as long as it’s over a hot enough flame. Now if you’re just staring at a […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “A Watched Pot Never Boils”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 