One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: I recently began dating a woman who has no legs. She had them amputated as a baby due to some birth defect complications. I honestly don’t even notice the legs are gone except one of my favorite things to do when I’m dating is play footsie at the dinner table. That’s the one […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Play Footsie With Someone Who Has No Legs?"Dear McFartnuggets: If an asteroid came and hit the Earth and destroyed all life on the planet tonight would you be happy with your Life? Would you have any regrets? — Morris from White Plains, New York Dear Morris: I’ve thought about this and the answer is no, but the nice thing about it is […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "If You Died Right Now Would You Be Happy With Your Life?"Toyota recently unveiled a new slogan: “Elevate your drive.” Toyota wants you to elevate your drive. Okay sure, I’m willing to do that, but first I need to know what the hell that even means. I know Toyota is a Japanese company, but their American slogans should use proper grammar. Unless you’re referring to golf, […]
Read More Dumbass Slogans: “Elevate Your Drive”As arctic wind makes its way down through America a lot of meteorologists and weatherpeople are saying things like “New England is going to get its coldest day of the year tomorrow.” The problem with this is it’s January 6th. The phrase “Coldest day of the year” shouldn’t be used at all in January, it […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Coldest Day of the Year”Sometimes when an elderly woman sees you urinating in the front of a Red Lobster she says “WELL I NEVER!” You never what? Finish your sentences? This is just a flat out dumbass thing to say. I had to look it up and apparently if you say “Well I never” then that’s supposed to mean […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Well I Never!”Take a look at these three silly ass commercials from a long time ago. If you look closely you’ll see a few people making cameos including a young Sean Penn before he became famous!
Read More Nutty Ass Banned Cereal Commercial CompilationIt seems that everyone these days is on some sort of “cleanse.” Cleanses are the new Tamagotchis. You’ve heard of the water cleanse, the ex lax cleanse, the V8 cleanse, and the milk enema cleanse and those are a great, but there are some cleanses you should avoid like the plague. Here are the top […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Diet CleansesDear McFartnuggets: How come men always call each other “son” like “Yo, son. That Drake concert was the bees knees!” But you never hear women using the word “daughter” in the same way? What up with that? Why isn’t it the same? I occasionally hear women calling each other “son.” Why? — Winifred from Baton […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Come Men Call Each Other Son But Women Don’t Call Each Other Daughter?"When you perform your jazz tap dancing routine flawlessly at your family reunion people will approach you after the show and say “Damn, homie! You brought the house down, son!” Brought the house down? Why is demolishing a domestic structure with people inside considered a good thing? How did that become a positive? This phrase […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Bringing Down The House"Dear McFartnuggets: I always hear people complaining about having insomnia and not being able to fall asleep. Have these people ever heard of NyQuil? Seriously. Come on. This stuff can put an elephant in a three year coma and make it believe it’s the queen of Denmark. Are people kidding me with the insomnia? I […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Don’t People With Insomnia Just Take NyQuil?"
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 