Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are There Gender Double Standards About Underwear?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Women always complain about how men have it better than women, but there are so many sexist double standards that men have to deal with. Why is it when women wear men’s underpants it’s seen as fun and playful, but when my next door neighbor sees me wearing women’s panties she screams at […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Works Like A Charm”

Sometimes you’ll hear your neighbor talking about their new rectal cream they say “It works like a charm!” Let’s think about that saying for a second. You’re saying this thing “works like a charm” charm meaning a magical charm, I assume. So it works like a magical charm, so not at all? I got a […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does The News Always Say Planes Are “Missing?”

Dear McFartnuggets: How come when a plane crashes they always say it’s “missing”? Are they really afraid of saying a plane crashed and then it ends up being found across the country landed in some place it wasn’t supposed to be with everyone on board perfectly fine? That would be a good problem to have […]

The Top 5 Best Holidays To Masturbate On

Some people hold the ignorant belief that it’s always bad to pleasure yourself intimately on national holidays. That’s not necessarily true. Believe it or not there are certain holidays where getting romantic with yourself is totally acceptable if not beneficial to one’s self in more ways than one. Here are the top 5 best holidays […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Is The Whitney Houston Story Basically The Plot of Scarface?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Lifetime channel made a movie about Whitney Houston’s life and it’s basically just like the movie “Scarface” just for women. Whitney Houston grew up in a middle class family in Newark, New Jersey and then quickly rose to greatness. She was addicted to cocaine just like Tony Montana in Scarface and they both […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Blood is Thicker Than Water”

Sometimes when a family member’s funeral is scheduled for the same day you’re going to a hockey game and you don’t know which one to go to your cousin says “Blood is thicker than water.” Okay so blood is thicker than water. Blood represents family so what is that supposed to mean? Your family is […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “How Are You Supposed to Pronounce Biopic?”

Dear McFartnuggets: How are you supposed to pronounce the word “biopic”? I hear people say bye-oh-pic and by-ah-pic and both seem to think they’re right. Which is the proper pronunciation? — Shelly from Rhode Island Dear Shelly: Considering that the word “biopic” is a portmanteau of the words “biography” and “picture” meaning a biographical motion […]

Dumbass Sayings: “You Can Look But You Can’t Touch”

When you’re at one of those high class strip clubs or even at work, a stripper or co-worker will say “You can look, but you can’t touch!” They’re disgusted by the thought of you touching them and even looking at them, but it’s not technically illegal to look at someone so they came up with […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Doesn’t Santa Bring Presents To Poor Children?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Hello Binkie McFartnuggets my name is Aiden and I am 8 years. My friend Rodney didn’t get a present on Christmas today and I asked him why and he said because I am poor. Why doesn’t he get gifts because he’s poor? Why did Santa forget him? I thought Santa gives presents […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Happy Holidays”

The whole point behind saying “Happy holidays” is to avoid saying “Merry Christmas” and alienating everyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Well, not everyone celebrates a wintertime religious holiday. So even saying “Happy holidays” is alienating to someone who chooses to observe no holiday at all. If you want to be 100% politically correct just say […]

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