One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: Why do people sing Auld Lang Syne at New Years? What does that even MEAN? Why do people sing things when they don’t even know what they mean? It’s such a weird sounding phrase. It feels weird to sing especially when I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. They got that […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What The Hell Does Auld Lang Syne Mean And Why Do People Sing It?”Imagine if Santa is lactoseintolerant. Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve is as mandatory as hanging up stockings by the fireplace and getting shitfaced on eggnog, but have you ever wondered if there’s an alternative? Who says you have to leave out milk and cookies specifically? Did Santa ever request […]
Read More The Top 5 Alternatives to Leaving Out Milk and Cookies For SantaDear McFartnuggets: Everyone I know goes to the movies on Christmas Day and I don’t understand how this became such a tradition. Christmas is Jesuses birthday. What kind of way to celebrate his birth is going to a movie theater to stare at a big screen like a dummy for two hours? People should be […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do So Many People Go to The Movies on Christmas Day?”Dear McFartnuggets: What lesson is the story of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer supposed to teach children? The story is basically about a bunch of reindeer making fun of this one freak reindeer with a weird red nose. They treat him like shit, completely alienate him and don’t let him engage in their reindeer games. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Lesson Does Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer Teach Kids?”Some of the people protesting the Eric Garner and Michael Brown deaths chant things like “Pigs in blankets” or “We want pigs in blankets.” This is supposed to mean “dead police officers.” I guess a body bag or that white sheet they put over dead people is meant to be the “blanket” in the analogy […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Pigs in a Blanket”In the 1996 song “One Headlight” by The Wallflowers, Bob Dylan’s son sings “We can drive it home with one headlight.” Let me tell you something, driving at night with only one headlight on is highly dangerous and irresponsible. The cops can and will pull you over for that. If you have a headlight burn […]
Read More Dumbass Song Lyrics: “We Can Drive it Home with One Headlight”Here’s one of the craziest commercials I’ve ever seen. This was clearly made before anti-psychotic prescription medications. People were still getting shock therapy back then and it shows.
Read More Completely Bonkers Old Cereal CommercialThere’s a popular saying on social media these days that goes “Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.” I’m not sure I understand this. So I have to be careful whose toes I step on because some day that person will make […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Be Careful Whose Toes You Step on Today, They May Be Connected To The Ass You Have To Kiss Tomorrow”“Mic check, bitches!” There was a time in America when families and friends would gather around the radio to listen to a baseball game or a big boxing match. Listening to those can still be somewhat enjoyable to this day, but there are certain sports that you just can’t listen to on the radio. Here […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Sports to Listen to on the RadioThese days when someone dies people will have to instagram their condolences and say “RIP, Grandma” or “RIP, Jennifer” followed by a bunch of sad face emojis. “RIP” is the acronym for “Rest in Peace” which is stupid right off the bat because when using acronyms words like “in” don’t get a capital letter. It’s […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “RIP”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 