Dumbass Sayings: “All I Want For Christmas Is You”

For some reason the Mariah Carey song “All I Want For Christmas Is You” seems to be growing in popularity with every passing Christmas despite the fact it’s from 1994. I guess it’s the only somewhat modern Christmas song that’s been enjoyed by people so it really gets played a lot these days. The problem […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Do Dogs Really Go To Heaven After They Die?”

Dear McFartnuggets: The Pope recently told a boy that dogs go to Heaven when they die. Is this really possible? Let’s think about this for a second, if dogs go to Heaven then that means Heaven must be chock full of dogs. I read an estimate that there are approximately 525 million pet dogs in […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Still Send Christmas Family Newsletters?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Why do people still send me family newsletters for Christmas with all the things they did in the past year? It’s 2014, we have Facebook. If you’re actually someone I care about then I already know about every major life event you and your family have experienced this year. If I don’t care […]

Dumbass Saying: “Don’t Undermine My Intelligence”

Sometimes when you’re watching “Jeopardy” with your grandmother’s caretaker and she gets a question wrong, you laugh and she gets really offended. She says “Hey don’t undermine my intelligence.” This is a really strange thing to say. For starters, I would reckon most people who say this don’t even know what the word “undermine” even […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Am I Really Human or am I Bacteria?”

Dear McFartnuggets: I read that bacteria cells in the human body outnumber human cells 10 to 1. So technically I’m more of a collection of microorganisms than I am a person, right? I must be a transorganism! I’m a bunch of bacteria born into a person’s body. I’m really confused now. Is there some kind […]

The Top 5 Alternatives To The Mile High Club

Even planes can join theMile High Club. Nearly everyone has heard of the Mile High Club by now. It’s an imaginary organization you join once you’ve had sex with someone in an aircraft that is sustaining a cruising altitude of or above 5,280 feet. It’s a nice club, but it’s not for everybody. If you […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “What’s The Big Deal About Waterboarding?”

Dear McFartnuggets: With all the news about the CIA waterboarding people, I have to ask what’s the big deal about waterboarding? To me it sounds like something you do at the beach or lake with all your friends. I know it’s where you pour water on someone’s face, but a lot of the time they’re […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Like and Subscribe”

A lot of people on YouTube say “Like and subscribe” at the end of their videos. I never understood this. If people liked your video and they want to see more they’ll like and subscribe on their own. Are people really that stupid that they can enjoy your video and won’t like and subscribe it […]

The Top 3 Ways To Prepare For The Big California Earthquake

You can blame it allon San Andreas. Scientists and seismologists all agree that a gigantic earthquake will hit the state of California at some point in the near future. Some even believe that California will break off into the Pacific Ocean and sink like the lost city of Atlantis. The scary thing is that it could […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Should I Be Cremated or Buried?”

Deciding on whether or notto be cremated is the biggestdecision of your death. Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, should I get cremated when I die or be buried in a coffin? I’m only in my 20’s and I don’t have cancer or anything, but I feel like this is a […]

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