One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
If you ever hire a dietitian or “wellness lifestyle coach” to help you become healthier they’ll always say “You get out what you put in.” This is a mostly false statement. If you’re talking about diet then it’s extremely untrue. When it comes to what you’re eating, you get out fecal matter. You can put […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You Get Out What You Put in”There are some perks tohaving dwarfism. Dear McFartnuggets: Why is it you never see any homeless little people aka dwarfs? I just never see them anywhere and believe me, I’ve been looking! What’s the deal with that? Where are they?! — Nisha from Washington D.C. Dear Nisha: I haven’t seen any either so it’s not […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come You Never See Homeless Little People?”When you’re a kid sometimes your dad says “I’m going to make it to your graduation, come hell or high water!” Then he doesn’t show up and later calls to say “Well there was no hell or high water.” Hahaha, very funny, dad. VERY FUNNY! Anyways, when you get a little bit older you think […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Come Hell or High Water”Now if only Ray Rice wouldknock out a starving child.Just kidding! Or am I? Dear McFartnuggets: Ever since the Ray Rice story about him punching his wife in a casino elevator broke there’s been tons of attention brought to the issue of domestic and spousal violence. Of course it was horrible what he did, but […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is Ray Rice Really A Hero?When you change channels rapidly and aimlessly while looking for something good to watch people call that “Channel surfing.” Channel surfing… Do people even think about this shit? How is changing channels similar to surfing? No, really THINK about that. Think about someone surfing, riding on a wave on a board and then think about […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Channel Surfing”Watch how creeped out awaitress gets when you callher “Mommy.” Olive Garden claims that “When you’re here you’re family” and “We’re all family here” but we all know that’s a load of horse crap. I used to think the people at Olive Garden were like family, but after awhile I realized they’re just strangers who […]
Read More The Top 5 Ways You’re Not Really Family When You’re at Olive GardenIntroducing the new iPodPlus, now with CT Scancapability! Dear McFartnuggets: People who use Apple products claim they’re the best because they’re so easy to use and ergonomic and perfect, but if that’s the case why are they always coming out with new ones? Like I understand that you have to progress all the time in […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If Apple Products Are So Good Why Are They Always Updating Them?”Whoever made this commercial must have been on a little too much nitrous oxide. This really is one of the more random, ridiculous commercials I’ve ever seen in all my years. Judging by the faces of those kids and their mom I’m assuming she sprinkled cocaine in her vagina during labor.
Read More Bizarre TV Ad For National Children’s Dental Health WeekSometimes your wife will run off with your son and before she slams the front door, she looks back and screams “I hope you die!” This is a silly thing to say. You hope I die? You don’t have to hope, it’s going to happen for sure. I’m going to die, you’re going to die, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Hope You Die”What to do with hobo babiesis quite the conundrum. Dear McFartnuggets: I always see homeless women with babies on my way to work in the morning and it breaks my heart. They hold their babies in their arms while they go around begging people for money in the cold and the baby looks freezing. I […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Legal To Kidnap Babies From Homeless People?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 