One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Surprise is usually the bestway to be noticed. When you’re writing a cover letter or resume it’s important to stand out from all the other applicants. However, you need to stand out for the right reasons. Too many people get caught up on just standing out and that leads them to making horrible mistakes in […]
Read More The Top Five Keywords That Really Stick Out in a Cover Letter or ResumeNo, I said POP music. Dear McFartnuggets: Why are nearly all pop songs three minutes long? My grandpa told me it goes back to the days of records when they could only fit that much music on each side. Is that true? I wanted to double check because he’s been getting very senile these days. Just […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is the Average Pop Song Only 3 Minutes Long?Don’t forget to post plentyof fake Facebook posts! Dear McFartnuggets: This Thanksgiving I’ll be doing my usual Thanksgiving ritual of eating a Banquet turkey TV dinner alone in my underpants. Then I’ll think about what little I have to be thankful for before going into my bathtub to masturbate while crying. The only problem is […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What’s a Good Way to Lie About My Thanksgiving Plans to Coworkers?”Billy Joel has a famous song where he says “I’m in a New York state of mind!” What the hell does it mean to be a in a New York state of mind? Did you just have a hobo’s dick touch your leg on a city bus? Did you just see a crack addict eating […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “A New York State of Mind”Everyone knows dogs arecute, you don’t have tomention it. Dear McFartnuggets: As a grown man, is it okay for me to tell another man he has a cute dog or is that seen as weird? What if the dog is really cute? Am I just supposed to let that cuteness walk by without me mentioning […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay to Tell Another Man He Has a Cute Dog?”When someone looks at you in a mean way some people call that “The stink eye.” I have no idea how this phrase came to mean that. Giving someone a mean look is not the stink eye, The Stink Eye is when you moon someone and spread your buttcheeks open so they can see your […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “The Stink Eye”Kars 4 Kids isn’t actuallyan illiteracy charity. Dear McFartnuggets: I keep seeing these commercials for Kars 4 Kids asking me to donate my car to them. Why should I donate my car to kids? Children shouldn’t be driving! That’s extremely dangerous. What kind of sick bastards would give cars to kids? That’s like handing them a […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Should I Donate My Car to Kids?”When a person dies in a tragedy sometimes people in their neighborhood will engage in a “candlelight vigil.” This is where they stand around praying while holding candles with a little cup surrounding the flame. I’m not going to question why people stand around praying, but I will question why they need to hold candles. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Candlelight Vigil”When someone says you got the “short end of the stick” that basically means you got a bad deal. What sense does that really make? If you’re getting a stick, why would you only get an end of it? If you’re receiving the end of a stick then there’s a good chance that’s because it’s […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Getting The Short End of The Stick”If you’re seeing anything likethis, you’ve got a problem. Dear McFartnuggets: Usually when I get an infection I can tell it’s infected because it stinks, but with my ass how am I supposed to tell the difference? It’s an ASS! It’s supposed to stink! It’s like trying to tell when fish goes bad. How the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can You Tell You Have An Ass Infection?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 