One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Sometimes when people see a soldier they say “Thank you for everything you do!” Folks usually say this because they’re tired of saying “Thank you for your service” and want to mix it up a little. The problem with this is they’re just being too damn vague. I’m not going to thank a soldier for […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Thank You For Everything That You Do”Fingering is justsideways shushing. Dear McFartnuggets: There’s this new song by that Meghan Trainor character called “Lips Are Moving.” To me, it’s quite obvious this is a song about female masturbation. Why is today’s music so vulgar and disgusting? Is this really what we want our children listening to? — Georgina from Glendale, Arizona Dear […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is That ‘Lips Are Moving’ Song Really About?”Sometimes your masseuse or hooker will scream “I’m gonna call the police!” This is such a silly phrase. Whenever you hear it you know it’s always an empty threat. Like a hooker is going to call the police… Even if they weren’t a hooker, if there’s really an emergency no one says “I’m gonna call […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I’m Gonna Call the Police!”The sexual tension between Peter and Captain Hook is always palpable. Dear McFartnuggets: How come whenever there’s a production of Peter Pan on Broadway a woman always plays Peter Pan? The character is supposed to be a young boy. I find it offensive that they’re basically saying a grown ass woman is equivalent to a child […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Peter Pan Always Played By a Woman?”Sometimes when you’re in a heated argument with an elderly lady on the street you say “I would diss yo momma right now, but the bitch is clearly dead so I ain’t even gonna go there!” Everyone in the crowd surrounding you two go “OHHHHHH!!!” and “Oh snapppp…” Then she says “Oh you got jokes!” […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You Got Jokes”It’s safe to say both sealsare enjoying themselves. Dear McFartnuggets: This is a little awkward, but I have to ask someone and you seem to be fielding a lot of odd questions lately. I am a new mother and my husband and I made the decision to breastfeed our child. I think there are a […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Normal to Be Aroused While Breastfeeding?”People always say “Baseball is wrong, a man with four balls can’t walk.” I don’t really see how this conclusion is reached. What makes you think having an extra two testicles would make walking impossible? Of course a man with four balls can walk. Not only in baseball, where if a batter avoids swinging at […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “A Man With Four Balls Can’t Walk”Stella ain’t got shiton a llama. Dear McFartnuggets: When it comes to grooves, you think of two people, Stella from “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” and The Emperor from “The Emperor’s New Groove.” My question is who had the better groove? Who grooved better? — Natalie from New Haven, Connecticut Dear Natalie: Well considering […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Who Has A Better Groove: Stella or The Emperor?”Well folks, we made it to 2,000 blog posts! Sometimes it’s important to look back and reflect on your accomplishments and thank those who have helped you get there. I’d like to take this time now to thank everyone who supports this blog. Without you and your hundreds of submissions to the Ask McFartnuggets social […]
Read More 2000th Blog Post Extravaganza!This commercial was one of the first attempts by Orange Juice to introduce itself to the American public. Who could have known that nearly 100 years later it would be such a household name and a staple in the daily diet of millions. It’s interesting to see how orange juice started as a small company […]
Read More Incredibly Old Commercial Advertising Orange Juice
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 