One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Occasionally you’ll hear a person tell you “It’s all about the Benjamins.” Apparently this means that life is all about money because by “Benjamins” they’re referring to the 100 dollar bill which Benjamin Franklin is on. This saying never made sense to me. Why is the $100 bill the only denomination people are concerned about? […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “It’s All About The Benjamins”Everybody loves agood fisting! The fist bump is quickly replacing the handshake and high five as the preeminent two person interactive hand ritual. However, it’s not yet seen as a perfect, all-purpose gesture for a few reasons. Here are the top 3 reasons you shouldn’t do the fist bump: 3. You’re at a job interview […]
Read More The Top 3 Reasons Not To Do The Fist BumpThere are other less stupidsounding ways to identifyyourself. When someone calls and says “Hi this is Pookie calling with American Express, can I please speak to Mrs. Helen Hunt,” Helen Hunt will say “This is she.” No one really knows if this is proper English, it sure as hell doesn’t sound like it. You’ll have […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “This is She”“Hamburger Helper” is a box of pasta with seasonings that you’re supposed to mix with hamburger meat to “help” hamburger taste better. Let’s get one thing straight here. Hamburger doesn’t need your help. Hamburger is one of the best foods in the world so you can save your damn help for foods that actually need […]
Read More Dumbass Product Names: “Hamburger Helper”You’d think winter and ice buckets would be a perfectmarriage… Dear McFartnuggets: I haven’t seen many new ice bucket challenge videos from people on Facebook or YouTube lately. Why have people stopped doing this? It was raising a lot of money for ALS research and the cure for ALS hasn’t been found yet so why would […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Did People Stop Doing The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge?”Sometimes Lego people will say “Everything is awesome.” No, it’s not. If everything was “Awesome” then you wouldn’t even be able to breathe. You’d be in a constant state of shock and awe and probably either collapse into a coma or have a blood vessel burst in your brain and you’d die. Not everything can […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Everything is Awesome”Kicking someone’s ass isnot the only option. Some people think you have to be big and tough to keep people from harassing you when you’re out and about on the town. That’s a major fallacy. Even the most frail or silly looking person can appear very intimidating and scary to dangerous strangers IF they follow […]
Read More The Top 5 Ways To Keep People From Messing With YouSometimes at the end of an internet video the people who post it will say “Thanks for watching.” I don’t know why people do this. If you watched something to the end then there’s a fair chance you enjoyed it so there’s no thanks necessary. You never watch a porno to the end and all […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Thanks For Watching”The older you are theless gender matters. Dear McFartnuggets: So about a month ago my grandmother came out to the family as transgender and is now my Grandpa George. Everyone’s taking it pretty hard, it’s just very awkward and Thanksgiving is going to feel really weird. I want to just accept her I mean him […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “My Grandmother Came Out as Transgender! What Do I Do?”The famous hit song “I’m A Little Teapot” has lyrics that go “I’m a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout. Tip me over and pour me out.” Pour ME out? Hold on a second here. Are you the teapot […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I’m a Little Teapot”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 