Ask McFartnuggets: “Shouldn’t Betty White’s Breasts Win Every SAG Award?”

This is one award BettyWhite might not win. Dear McFartnuggets: Why do they even bother having the SAG awards? Shouldn’t Betty White’s tits win every award every single year? Just give her the lifetime achievement award already, am I right? — Charles from Madison, Wisconsin Dear Charles: Well considering SAG stands for Screen Actors Guild, […]

The Top 3 Best Places to Tickle Yourself

Whoever says you can’t tickle yourself clearly hasn’t put a feather near their butthole. Science says you can’t really tickle yourself, but reality tells us something much different. Anyone who spends a lot of time touching themselves knows you can indeed tickle yourself and there are three key areas in which this takes place. Here are the […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does Golden Corral Offer A Free Meal To The U.S. Military?”

Veterans are familiar withthe term “Fire in the hole!” Dear McFartnuggets: Golden Corral buffet offers a free meal on Veterans Day to any U.S. military veterans or current service members, but don’t our heroes deserve better than Golden Corral? Basically they’re just getting free diarrhea. The amount of toilet paper and Pepto Bismol they’ll have to use […]

The Top 10 Worst Things to Say to Siri in Public

Just because you’re talkingto Siri doesn’t mean otherpeople aren’t listening. For many people, Siri has changed the way they live life. Having a personal assistant in your phone can be very convenient, but like a conversation with a real person you need to be aware of your surroundings. It can be easy to forget you’re […]

Dumbass Sayings: “I Was Born Ready”

Sometimes before you’re about to go skydiving or rob a bank you look at the other person in the plane or car and say “Are you ready?” and they say “I was born ready.” Really? You were BORN ready? I sincerely doubt that. You’re trying to tell me that the moment your head crowned out […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Is Daytime Network TV Sexist?”

Dear McFartnuggets: How come nearly every show on daytime network TV is a female themed talk show or soap opera? Why don’t they have more shows geared toward men? There are lots of men who do nothing but watch TV all day so where are their shows? According to networks, women are the only people […]

Dumbass Saying: “Bigwig”

Sometimes people at your job will refer to the CEO and executives of that company as “bigwigs.” They’ll say “Oh god the bigwigs are coming for a meeting this week!” or “Oh god a bigwig caught me masturbating in the stairwell!” First off, “bigwig” was originally intended as a term for politicians. The reason for […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Does Shaving Hair Really Make it Grow in Faster?”

That’s what you getfor shaving! Dear McFartnuggets: Is it true that shaving hair really makes it grow in faster? Whenever I shave my legs it always seems like the hair comes back thicker and bushier! Is there real science behind this? — Shane from Raleigh, North Carolina Dear Shane: If shaving hair made it grow […]

The Top 5 Cutest Baby Animals You Shouldn’t Keep As Pets

This guy took a tiger cubas a pet a few years agoand now he’s screwed. One of the key features people look for in a pet is how cute it is. Focusing entirely on cuteness can lead to some dangerous situations. The problem is you can take in a baby animal and its cute baby […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Sporting Goods”

Anytime you go into the sports equipment area of a store it’s called “Sporting goods.” Why the hell are they called “goods”? What the hell is that about? Why is sporting the only realm where we refer to the items as “goods”? You don’t hear people talking about “kitchen goods” or “baby goods.” There’s no […]

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