One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Bud Light’s newest ad campaign features people on fake hidden cameras enjoying wacky nights out after saying they’re “Up for whatever.” This is just a flat out dumb phrase. It used to be “Up for anything” then it drank a bunch of Bud Light and became “Up for whatever.” That just sounds worse. It doesn’t […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Up For Whatever”No you can have ONE of each! When deciding what to hand out to trick or treaters on Halloween there are definitely some serious do’s and don’ts. Passing out the wrong items can result in some very serious negative consequences or “tricks” as they call them for not only yourself but the costumed youngsters. Here […]
Read More The Top 10 Worst Things To Give Out To Trick-or-TreatersSometimes when you’re doing something wrong like pushing rolling luggage in front of you instead of pulling it or breastfeeding a homeless person people will say “You’re completely ass backwards.” I have a big problem with this phrase. For starters, what’s the opposite of ass backwards? Ass forwards? Asses are meant to be backwards. That’s […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Ass Backwards”When people can feel youstaring it means you’redoing it too hard. Dear McFartnuggets: Why is it that every time I’m people watching with my binoculars it’s only a matter of time before the woman turns in my direction and sees me? It doesn’t matter how far away I am, I could be 100 yards away […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can People Tell When I’m Staring At Them?There’s that famous song that goes “You’re nobody til somebody loves you” and I have no idea why people accept this notion. It’s a nice song, but this premise that you’re no one until someone loves you is completely ridiculous. First off, most people are loved as soon as they’re born. Even if they’re abandoned, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You’re Nobody Til Somebody Loves You”Not all dreams are createdequal. Dear McFartnuggets: Last night I dreamed I was in a grocery store counting radishes with Charles Barkley. There was nothing more to it. I was just standing next to Charles Barkley in the produce area of a Whole Foods, counting radishes for what felt like a solid four hours. The […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are My Dreams So Stupid?”There’s a new Taco Bell commercial that does the old bit where there’s static and distortion in the picture and a voice says “Don’t adjust your television.” This bit is completely played out and has no real effect anymore. Back in Andy Kaufman’s time it worked because people would see their picture all screwed up […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Don’t Adjust Your Television”Is mandatory quarantinereally the answer? Dear McFartnuggets: People be talking about how a mandatory 21 day quarantine for health workers returning from West Africa would dissuade American doctors from going over there to help. Are you serious? Are there really doctors out there who go “Hmm you know I wanna go over to West Africa […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Will A Mandatory Quarantine Really Dissuade Health Workers From Going To Africa?”When you tell ask an elderly woman out on a date and tell her she looks beautiful sometimes she says “Oh you’re full of baloney!” What does baloney intake have to do with credibility? I’m familiar with the term “full of shit” but “full of bologna?” Bologna might not be the purest of the lunchmeats, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Full of Baloney”Prophecy states an anti-christ will appear to nibbleon the ear of Jesus. Dear McFartnuggets: Who do you think will be the two people to give birth to the antichrist? Will it be Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan? Shia LeBeouf and Amanda Bynes? Martha Stewart and Donald Trump? Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? What about Chris […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Who WIll Give Birth To The Antichrist?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 